


Operation: Get Mama and Papa Together

by freefairies



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Civil War Fix-It, Crack, Drunk Texting, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other, Peter is a Little Shit, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels, Text Icons, Texting, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-07-26 01:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freefairies/pseuds/freefairies
Summary: peter parker just wants the family back together. so he did what any teen would do: form a group chat with the avengers to get Tony and Steve together.(Crack until Later.)





	1. steve rogers is an old man

**[peter has made a group chat]**

**[peter added irondad, america's ass, mama widow, heman, bird guy, haw-keyy, green, vision, misswitch, that one guy, speed]**

irondad: what tf is this, peter

america's ass: Umm. 

america's ass: What is going on?

peter: welcome to chills

peter: now that mom and dad are here. you two gotta talk about feels

irondad: oh hell no

**[irondad left the chat]**

**[peter added irondad]**

**[irondad left the chat]**

**[peter added irondad]**

irondad: PETER STOP ADDING ME BACK

peter: you can't escape your feels with your heelies mr stark

haw-keyy: yeah, tony, dont escape your feelings with your heelies

mama widow: lmao

america's ass: I am honestly confused. Who is this Peter?

peter: oh yeah

peter: hi i am peter and i am mr. stark intern

peter: mr stark is currently moping and i think its because of mr. captain america

amercia's ass: Why is my name America's ass?

irondad: because you have a great ass

irondad: shit how do i delete my life

haw-keyy: sleep

mama widow: you don't have a life to delete

irondad: wow that hurt mama widow

america's ass: I have no comment. I don't understand what is going on.

that other guy: Steve you are a dumbass

that other guy: the kid is trying to help you get laid with stark

peter: exactly, mr. bucky sir

that other guy: call me bucky

irondad: i-

irondad: you all suck 

peter: so

peter: talk mama and papa

**[peter left the chat]**

**[mama widow, that other guy, haw-keyy left the chat]**

irondad: fuck

america's ass: Tony... Can we at least listen to them and talk?

irondad: ugh, fine. make it quick.

america's ass: I know that I have messed up, but you are my best friend. You help us clear our name, including Bucky's. I just want to thank you for that. I am not going to give up on our friendship. I will do anything to make it up for you. 

irondad: are you done?

irondad: first of all, steve, you make me want to kick your perfect ass now, but after of years of being pissed off, I have learn that i miss your annoying ass. So, i guess, we can try to work on it.

america's ass: Thank you, Tony. 

**[green added peter, mama widow, that other guy, haw-keyy to the chat]**

green: mission complete

peter: they talk 

peter: thank our lord 

mama widow: bet 

haw-keyy: bet they are going to be screwing each other by the end of the week

green: bet

that other guy: bet

misswitch: bet

heman: ay

irondad: who tf is heman?

peter: thor

peter: notice how mr stark didnt deny about getting laid

bird guy: bet

america's ass: bet

america'ass: Umm.. Ignore that.

amercia's ass: How do I use this phone?

america's ass: How do I delete this?

america's ass: Hello??

peter: and mr stark is blushing 


	2. steve and tony sitting on a tree

**[peter is online]**

peter: god i hate that my real name is on here

peter: anyone want to help me with my name change

**[that other guy is online]**

that other guy: i gotcha

**[that other guy changed peter to that one kid]**

that other guy: now we match 

that one kid: how do you know im a kid

that one kid: what if i am a man

that one kid: or a woman

**[irondad, america's ass, mama widow, haw-keyy, bird guy is online}**

irondad: he is a kid

irondad: don't say that stuff, peter

irondad: and why tf is my kid title that one kid?

mama widow: you have a kid now?

america's ass: I didn't know you have a son, Tony. How come you never mention this to us?

that one kid: o

that one kid: im not really his son

that one kid: but mr stark basically like stealing kids so

irondad: THATS BULLSHIT

irondad: I DON'T STEAL KIDS

haw-keyy: who here doesnt believe this crap say bs

bird guy: bs

mama widow: bs

that other guy: bs

that one kid: bs

**[green and heman is online]**

green: bs

heman: bs

america's ass: no comment.

irondad: YOU ALL SUCK

that one kid: its okay

that one kid: <strike>i still love you dad</strike>

irondad: what 

irondad: kid why tf are you even texting

irondad: aren't you in class

that one kid: ummm

that one kid: bye

**[that one kid is offline]**

america's ass: How old is this kid, Tony?

irondad: umm, he is turning 16.

haw-keyy: holy shit, stark kidnapped a teenager

mama widow: i thought he was 12 lol

mama widow: and that he was your real son

mama widow: since he looks so much like you

irondad: he is not- wait, peter's school is calling

**[irondad is offline]**

green: guys

green: tony is panicing lol 

america's ass: Why?! What is going on? Do I need to come over?

that other guy: he just wants to get laid

haw-keyy: amen 

america's ass: That's not- No! I am just worry.. Why is he panicing?

green: so, peter basically had weed and got caught

**[that one kid is online]  
**

that one kid: It wasnt my weed

that one kid: i dont smoke

that one kid: mr stark is pissed off

that one kid: mr captain america save me 

that one kid: mr stark needs you 

that one kid: and he passed out 

**[america's ass is offline]**

bird guy: and the captain has left the building 

that one kid: they are so in love that its sick

that one kid: so whats the plan

haw-keyy: lock them in room and kept them there until they fuck it out 

**[that one kid changed name to spidey]**

spidey: btw im spiderman

spidey: and no

spidey: im going to sing to them

that other guy: stark brought a 15 year old to a fight

bird guy: we all already knew dumbass

that other guy: shut the fuck up, i was sleeping 

mama widow: i'll sing with you 

haw-keyy: record that shit

spidey: and mr america's ass is here and basically dont want to leave

spidey: [ sent a video]

_Peter press record on his phone as soon as Tony woke up. Tony was about to yell but stop when he felt Steve's hand on his shoulder. He turns and look at him, "What are you doing here?" He asked softy. Tony's face became soft and he just stare's at the captain's eyes. "Peter ask me to come and told me you passed out. I got worried and came as soon as I can"_

_and at this moment, Peter ruined the moment by singing out loud: STEVE AND TONY SITTING ON A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G FIRST COME- MR STARK IM SORRY DON'T THROW TH-_

_and the video came to the end._

**[irondad is online]**

irondad: you are so grounded

spidey: im a bad bitch you cant kill me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any suggetions, feel free to comment.


	3. fanfictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the mama and papa discover the world of fanfictions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, for the long break, I have a job now and never have time to write anymore..

**[spidey, irondad, america's ass, that one guy is online]**

spidey: have you guys ever read fanfictions of yourself

irondad: what the fuck are fanfictions

america's ass: ^

that other guy: they are stories that people write of real people or fictional characters, some are.... not friendly.

spidey: wait

spidey, how do you know what fanfictions are

spidey: you are old af

irondad: and how do you know that they aren't friendly 

america's ass: wait

america's ass: there is fan fiction of us?

that one guy: umm

that one guy: first of all, rude

that one guy: second, I have... read some of them and yes, Steve, there are some of all of us

spidey: Bucky is official the cool uncle

spidey: there is a lot of stony

irondad: what the fuck is stony

america's ass: ^

spidey: mr. stark that's you and mr. Captain America ship now

america' ass: what is ship?

**[haw-keyy is online]**

haw-keyy: its what people what other two people to fuck

haw-keyy: alot of people want iron man and Captain America to fuck

spidey: exactly

that one guy: let me send you guys a fan fiction of those fuckers

_{that one guy sent a link of a stony _ _fan fiction with Tony be mpreg}_

spidey: oh shit

spidey: I read this one

spidey: it's very.. weird

spidey: I couldn't stop reading it

that one guy: its very good for mpreg fanfic

irondad: WHO THE FUCK WOULD WRITE THIS

irondad: I DON'T ACT LIKE THIS

irondad: AND EVEN THOUGH STEVE AND I WOULD MAKE AMAZING BABIES

irondad: this isn't possible unless I'm transgender, which I'm not-

that one guy: notice how he didn't bother about the sex part 

spidey: bet

haw-keyy: bet

america's ass: ummm 

america's ass: this was actually very nice. I would act like this

irondad: wait

irondad: you would be like this dirty in bed?

irondad: I thought you were straight

spidey: <strike>omg dad</strike>

that one guy: Steve is seriously the gayest guy I know

haw-keyy: omg Tony, he clearly wants your dick

america's ass: ....

**[america's ass went offline]**

**[mama widow is online]**

mama widow: ok

mama widow: why is Steve red af

mama widow: Tony did you finally show your dick

irondad: WHY AM I EVEN HERE

irondad: THERE IS A PURE CHILD HERE 

spidey: ummm

spidey: im not pure

spidey: I write porn

irondad: YOU WHAT

spidey: oh shet

spidey: MR STARK DON'T HACK MY COMPUTER

spidey: MY FANFICTIONS=, DONT DELETE THEM

spidey: MR STARKKKKKKK

spidey: you're not my dad >:(

irondad: ...... 

**[irondad went offline]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the support! I will try to write more of this story because its my happy story. All my other stories are very dark, so this is where I could be stupid. please comment any suggestions! it will help me update much faster.


End file.
